Riddle Me This

The top left photo is his turn-my-mother-into-a-newt gaze.

I'm no good at puzzles. I don't have the patience to sit down and figure out where all the little pieces go. Hand me a Rubik's cube (I know I'm dating myself here) and my brain will explode.  I realized the other night that I can add riddles to my Things I Can't Do List.

Senpai was on Riddles.com and decided to exercise our brains during dinner, much to the amusement of our fellow diners. The first riddle had something to do with a table, something white and round, and being able to serve two or four. I had him repeat the riddle then I panicked and said the first thing that came to mind: salt. Okay, salt isn't round, but it is white and it sits on a table.

Then Kohai shouted, "small rocks!" and the answers started to devolve right into a scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Senpai ended up giving me a look that I'm sure would have turned me into a newt if it were in his power. The answer was a ping-pong ball. Ohh, okay, I get it now. The next one was a real head scratcher. Seriously, my ears bled.

Ten pears hanging high,
Ten men come passing by,
Each took a pear and left nine hanging there.
How could that be?

The answer was: EACH is the name of one of the men, and he's the only one that took a pear. I had to call BS on this one. The one guy's name was Each? Really?! Come on, give me a break, Senpai! Here's one more.

I turn around once,
What is out will not get in.
I turn around again,
What is in will not get out.
What am I?

I said belly button. Before you get all judgey, here me out. My train of thought with the belly button answer had to do with being an "innie" or an "outie". You know, "in" and "out." All right, I know it was a pretty lame-ass answer, but it was the first thing that popped into my head and usually that works for me. The answer ended up being a key.

It was at this point that Senpai made an observation, "Mom, you're not very good at this are you?" No son, I'm not. Actually I'm pretty sure that if it came down between me and Gollum in a riddle contest, I'd be eaten.

And the Sign Said ...

"... long haired freaky people need not apply."
Five Man Electrical Band

Senpai's epic hair was two years in the making and in one afternoon he had it all chopped off. It all started back when he was in 9th grade and Kohai had decided he wanted to grow his hair out, which we refer to as the grand experiment. Senpai thought he'd give it a go too, little knowing how much work would have to go into it.

Both of my sons are as different as night and day in personality, appearance and as it turns out their hair type. Kohai's hair grew into these long, beautiful ringlets. All he had to do was wash it and go, easy peasy. He didn't even need any hair products. Senpai's hair on the other hand was super thick, coarse and frizzy. He didn't have ringlets, he had a fro.

After that first year, Kohai had had enough of everyone fawning over his curls. He was bitterly disappointed that he couldn't just pull his hair back and requested a haircut. Senpai's hair had finally gotten long enough that he could pull his in a ponytail, so he continued to let it grow.

I think we were a little floored when Senpai requested a haircut out of the blue a few weeks ago. I'm sure it was starting to be too much trouble for him to maintain. Seriously, it took all day for his hair to completely dry after a shower and almost an hour for me to blow dry it. Occasionally I would straighten it for him and that would be an hour ordeal. I can't tell you the number of cans of hair spray he'd go through in order to keep it out of his face.

Well, you had a good run Senpai. So we washed, dried, straightened and pulled his hair back in a braid and marched down to the local barber shop. We walked in and requested a hair cut. It took the old barber about five minutes to cut Senpai's hair above the braid, I think I mentioned earlier that his hair is very thick. The old gentleman handed me Senpai's braid and I put it in a baggy to be donated, then I sat back and watched as my long-haired "hippy" son was transformed into an upright young man.

Thinking that he might have had some regrets about his decision, I asked him how he felt without all that hair.  He said with some relief, "A lot lighter."